Sunday, July 01, 2007

what does your speech say about you?

Monday July 2,2007

"what does my marriage communicate to those who don't know me?"
Christine @ Fruit in Season

"In our marriage we tell the next generation what sex and marriage and fidelity look like to Christians. We are prophets, for better and for worse, of the future of Christian marriage."
(Evelyn and James Whitehead, quoted in Sacred Marriage)

As I worked this past week on my goals I found myself aware of how marriage is portrayed on TV and in the lives of those around me. Sometimes people are very sarcastic with one another and it can seem funny at the time... but, is it really? Having this realization has helped me to hold my tongue and not just immediately say what comes to my head. How can I honor God or my husband if I speak without thinking?

According to my sources this was a very good week! What Tom thinks of me as a wife is the most important thing.

As I continue to read through "The Second Half of Marriage" I learned that couples can find a communication pattern "that builds on your desire for companionship and we-ness, one that transcends your own tendency, cultural conditioning, or personality".

goals for this week:
continue to speak in a respectful and soft tone
finish reading "The Second Half of Marriage"
relax and enjoy whatever time we have alone together

The recipe for success in marriage is effort plus insight.
-David and Vera Mace


  1. Ah yes sarcasm - we both have sarcastic humor which I am continually learning is not shared with many people. While it is fine between the two of us, I have to watch myself in front of others because I find women will then feel it is okay to do the same to my honey and it is not okay.

    Blessings to you as you continue to support your husband!

  2. Praying for sweet blessings for your marriage.

  3. Thanks for sharing, it sounds like you are doing a great job ;-)


  4. I love your goals for the week!

    Interesting that you mention how marriage is portrayed - a few weeks ago we were watching Everybody Loves Raymond and as usual, Debra and Ray were arguing. Ryan (my oldest) turned and asked me what they were doing. That's good for us - we really rarely argue - but so indicitive of what's on TV these days.

    Also, I was commenting to my husband last night how in TV (sitcoms & commercials) men are portrayed as less intelligent than women. Am I the only one who has noticed this trend.

    Sorry to write a book! Praying the Lord continues to bless your marriage!

  5. HeartSong8:41 AM

    What a sweet way to honor your husband! I hope I can watch my tone of voice when I speak to mine.

    I love reading your blog and really appreciate the comments you leave on mine. Thank you so much.

  6. Great goals! This has been a stretching of myself in many ways and I did NOT succeed last week. *Sigh* Thank goodness I get a fresh start every day, huh?!

  7. Great stuff - and that book sounds really wonderful! I will be on the lookout for it. It is never too soon to prepare for the rest of our lives.

  8. We use sarcasm and humor very often. However, it can go sour and usually I'm the one that puts up the Stop sign. Still, humor can be a release from stress and life struggles. I agree making sure we keep it in check is always great advice.

    I can just sense you really have it together. Continue to share with us your secrets and motives to do better!

    Heavenly Voice

  9. Alida,

    You know once someone told me at a Bible study that sarcasm is really a cowardice. It is a way to say something mean that you are afraid to say directly. Yikes.

    I may have to post about this soon. Great food for thought and marriage. Thank you.

  10. I love the Evelyn quote. One of my son n laws once asked my daughter if my knight and I really liked each other or were we just putting up a front whne he was around. Ha Ha...
    I for one kind of appreciate sarcasm. Not when it is used in a hurtful way, but when it is witty.

  11. I'm thrilled to meet you! Praise God you're serving Him in Russia. (We support a small church in Moscow.)

    We're in our middle years too. I've been to the Arp's website, but I haven't read this book yet. It looks quite useful, thanks.

    This is a terrific quote: "The recipe for success in marriage is effort plus insight.-David and Vera Mace"

    Blessings, e-Mom

  12. Great goals! As a couple, we have to be careful with sarcasm around others too, we have had it taken seriously and caused wrong impressions and rumors!

  13. Great goals again. I've almost forgotten how to enjoy each other's company since we usually are trading a fussy baby back and forth, but that will return!

    I am in total agreement that our models for marriage in the media just plain stink. Scripture is the only place to look, and God will show us godly models if we ask.


  14. Our husband's callings DO put extra stress on our marriages, but we DO love our men....maybe not the ministry sometime but we love the man! I don't know about you but sometimes I have a hard time separating the me Lord!

  15. You know, communication is a huge issue for me...I don't communicate my feelings *sigh*...

    The book you have mentioned in this posts sounds great. I have to check it out.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts for this week's challenge. May our Lord continue to guide and direct your actions.