Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tasty Tuesday...kind of.

This is a melancholy post...so be warned!  I don't often do this publicly.  Seven years ago we sold our home in California and embarked on this missionary journey.  We stayed in various homes in several different states until leaving for Russia in April of 2005.  We have said  goodbye a lot since then.  But, whether it is a life change or a location change it still is a change... and that means letting go of what was to accept and embrace what is.  And I am trying to doing it sober.  For me, that means not medicating with sugar as I would love to  do.  After all of the holiday indulging however, today is day three of no sugar.

I would love to eat my feelings away.

I mean...these would help, right?

or this

I could easily bake a cake or fry some donuts and get lost in the flavors and aroma for a while.  But that would be self sabotage.    So, I need to remember to breathe, let go and move again today.  Why is this so hard?  I mean, seriously?  I think it is because today I miss the daily interaction from when Nathan and Spencer still lived at home.  You know, the talking face to face and the hugs. Now we are all back to texting and Facebook to stay in touch.  Growing up sucks.

There are ribs in the crock pot and veggies in the fridge that need to be turned into something to go with the ribs. Tom is out doing the shopping and running errands.  So before I chicken out of letting you all know how I am really feeling today, it is time to hit publish, jump in the shower and finish my pity party with a good cry while I wash my hair.  

19 comments:

  1. I hear you! God bless you.

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  2. Oh dear Alida, I know exactly how you feel...I have had the ENS for a couple of months now...Empty Nest Syndrome...the house is so empty..I live alone therefore Abby is the only one that will listen to me and she just kind of twist her head to right to left giving me that " wut " look...I will say a little prayer for you siste!

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  3. Thank you! It helps to know that others understand.

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  4. Love you, Alida! Proud of you!

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  5. love you Alida! Sending big hugs your way xox

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  6. Oh sweetie I wish I could hug you right now!!!!

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  7. You want me to send you one of mine? They don't seem to want to leave!!!!

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  8. I understand!!!

    i wrote a transparent post today too, it must be a tuesday thing. :)

    {{hugs}}

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  9. I know exactly what you mean... I will be in very similar shoes very soon when my hubby has to leave also. He will be going on deployment and I will be staying here with no family within 800 miles. It's not like its another country but it still sucks. At least I can take comfort in my little one but yeah growing up does suck in deed. I hope everything turns out ok for you, stay strong and big hugs to you! :)

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  10. Thanks ladies! I love you all!

    And Cyndi, send them my way...it would be fun :-)

    Jess, even in the same country it's hard. My dad was in the military. I hated those goodbyes.

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  11. Sending love and hugs your way Alida. Love you.

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  12. ((((HUGS))) Alida!
    ~Jada

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  13. Take heart -- you're not alone in these feelings! Hugs aplenty.

    BTW, note my new url, www.not-just-a-name.blogspot.com.

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  14. It's ok to grieve them leaving your side after a visit. They are part of you and you're being torn and scattered.

    Oh gee, now I'm getting melancholy. Love you!

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  15. You did a good thing when you sold your house. You made yourselves into (and I know I'm not going to say this right) the kind of people I and others look up to. You're risk takers and there's a price that goes with the taking...but you did it and I think you're badass.

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  16. Alida-We all have those days and need to admit them to one another. I have that empty nest myself and sometimes it really makes me sad. love you.

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  17. it happens to all of us doesn't it? Don't eat your feelings away - maybe take a long walk and listen to music.
    My children are going back to college this week also, and i'm realize that life is different when they're gone.
    Totally understand how you feel, and you know God knows!
    x0x0x

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