That is what is on my mind and in my heart right now. Yesterday was a bittersweet day. More sweet than bitter I should say. You see on February 19, 1985 I went in for a routine pregnancy check up and the doctor could not find the heartbeat of the baby I was carrying. I was sent for an ultrasound to check on the baby's well being. The technician said not a word about the results... I was told to come back for the doctor to interpret them for me. Tom and I went to the movies, ate some lunch, and went back to the doctor's office. When we finally sat down with the doctor we were given the news that our baby was no longer alive.
We were devastated.
It was truly one of the worst days of my life. I thought I would never be happy again. Never. The doctor went on to explain that he wanted me to go into labor on my own if possible. And he also shared that not only had my baby died that day...but his best friend died as well. He left to attend the funeral and be with his friend's family in a neighboring state for a few days. I waited from the 19th to the 22nd to see if I would go into labor on my own. When he returned, on the 22nd, I went back in to his office and he scheduled an appointment at the hospital to induce labor.
Our first child and only daughter was stillborn that night.
It amazes me that we have two sons. I have been pregnant five times. Two stillbirths just ten months apart in 1985...then Nathan was born in 1987. Two years later I had a miscarriage...and nine months after that miscarriage Spencer was born in 1990. So here we are twenty-seven years after Patricia Kaye was stillborn. I am so grateful to be able to say that I am the mother of two living children.
Two incredible young men, Nathan, 24, and Spencer, 21, are alive and well.
2006 Family photo in Krasnodar, Russia
2008 Spencer and Nathan in Dana Point, California,USA
2010 Spencer and I in Istanbul, Turkey
2011 Nathan's visit to Belize
Nathan and Spencer are two of the greatest gifts in my life. I am so fortunate, so blessed, and so grateful to God for bringing them into being. My heart is glad. I am overwhelmed with joy as I realize how far we have come as a family. Nathan's birth brought us hope and restored our faith. Spencer's birth was cause for rejoicing and celebration...as our family was now made complete.
So this week I may have times of sadness as I remember and reflect on the days spent waiting for Patricia's stillbirth to occur. But, I also know that I will spend these next few days rejoicing and giving thanks for the sons that filled our hearts and our home with love and laughter.
joining in with the gratitude community:521. the gift of Nathan.522. the gift of Spencer.523. the precious gift of life.524. the beautiful gift of family.525. the restoration of joy.