Honor your husband challenge finale

Monday, July 16,2007

"We do get more out of our marriage as we accept the downs and enjoy the ups, and most of all that we keep coming back for more and never give up" Christine at Fruit in Season


How true that we must accept the ups and the downs to maintain a long term relationship! This 30 day journey has had some ups and downs. Mostly ups!

I have learned a great deal about myself and my thought life. I have learned that I don't have to say everything that I think and that peace can come into all of my relationships as I change my thought life for the better.

I will continue on in this new way of thinking and will be in prayer for marriages not just here in the US but around the world.

I know that there are people hurting in Russia too.

And as I head back there on Friday I am more aware of our calling to help alcoholics/addicts and their families. One of the families that we did an intervention with seems to be on the road to recovery. I pray for that marriage and for the children.

Thank you Christine for the Honor Your husband Challenge... I know that it helped me and the other 125 women who signed up!

30 Day challenge

Monday July 9, 2007



"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you". Eph 4:32

As I have worked through this challenge I have learned how beneficial it is to my husband and our family for me to practice kindness, have a tender heart, display and grant forgiveness to others.

Reaching Day 22 of the 30 day challenge is a milestone for me... I have not even followed a diet as diligently as I have participated in the challenge!

My goals are being met each week and we are becoming a partner-focused couple instead of a child-focused one.

I found this quote as I was reading the Arp's book The Second Half of Marriage...

"The real mystery of marriage is not that husband and wife love each other so much that they can find God in each other's lives but that God loves them so much that they can discover each other more and more as living reminders of God's presence. They are brought together, indeed, as two prayerful hands extended toward God and forming in this way a home for God in this world" Henri Nouwen in Seeds of Hope

It is my prayer that our marriage will be like those two prayerful hands coming together!

This week's goals:

Help Tom get things ready for Spencer and I to leave for Russia on the 20th.

Continue to encourage and support Tom

Truly listen when he speaks and not assume I know what he is going to say.



***Be sure to check in with Christine over at Fruit in Season and let her know if you are participating in the challenge... you can also read through the blogs of other wives who are in the challenge as well.

what does your speech say about you?

Monday July 2,2007












"what does my marriage communicate to those who don't know me?"
Christine @ Fruit in Season

"In our marriage we tell the next generation what sex and marriage and fidelity look like to Christians. We are prophets, for better and for worse, of the future of Christian marriage."
(Evelyn and James Whitehead, quoted in Sacred Marriage)



As I worked this past week on my goals I found myself aware of how marriage is portrayed on TV and in the lives of those around me. Sometimes people are very sarcastic with one another and it can seem funny at the time... but, is it really? Having this realization has helped me to hold my tongue and not just immediately say what comes to my head. How can I honor God or my husband if I speak without thinking?

According to my sources this was a very good week! What Tom thinks of me as a wife is the most important thing.

As I continue to read through "The Second Half of Marriage" I learned that couples can find a communication pattern "that builds on your desire for companionship and we-ness, one that transcends your own tendency, cultural conditioning, or personality".


goals for this week:
continue to speak in a respectful and soft tone
finish reading "The Second Half of Marriage"
relax and enjoy whatever time we have alone together


The recipe for success in marriage is effort plus insight.
-David and Vera Mace

this week's goals

Over at Fruit in Season the focus this week is on supporting our husbands in their work.

"Your husband needs your support for his work. How you feel about his work is vitally important. Work is one way he has of defining himself. So how you feel about his work translates in his mind into how you feel about him. If you encourage and back him in his work, your support stabilizes and energizes him."



Since Tom entered ministry I have worked alongside him. I know that I can either help and support or I can criticise... helping and supporting works so much better for both of us. Whether I am researching a topic for him or reading the map while we barrel down the freeway, being cooperative bonds us together.

The other night I was studying this scripture:

Proverbs 31:11-12

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. AMP


My desire is that I will be a trustworthy wife, one that can be relied on, believed in, dedicated to comforting, encouraging and doing only what is good as long as I have breath left in me!

This week my goals are:

*To do the tasks he asks me to do without complaining or telling him he can do it himself!
*To pray for him daily (beyond "God bless Tom")


It is not to late to join in the challenge whether you have a blog or not.... simply leave a comment detailing your goals over at Fruit In Season!

30 day challenge

This will be my first online challenge... I am hesitant to jump in and be held accountable to it especially since my husband is a regular reader! But, here goes!

Christine over at FruitInSeason is sponsoring a 30 day challenge to honor your husband. Click here to check it out: http://fruitinseason.blogspot.com/2007/06/challenge-is-here.html

or you can see some daily guidelines written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss here: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/article.php?pid=9471

The guidelines at Fruit In Season are simple enough... so I am choosing for my goal for this week to be simple as well:

* to speak in a respectful loving tone to Tom at all times
* not to complain to him about things he has no control over (like other people, places and things)

After 25 years of marriage I don't believe that there are times when I intentionally dishonor him... this next 30 days however, will keep me more focused on looking for occasions to honor him and I am positive that I will learn a few things about myself along the way!