Sunday, September 13, 2009

Saturday Teaching Sessions

A new year of teaching just started this weekend. We had 20 people there for our opening session. I asked Tom to write out some of the highlights from his teaching time on Saturday, enjoy!

This month our theme is "Making Marriage Better." Hopefully some of the participants took home any of the following main points from Saturday's teaching about expectations:

1. Potential partners & partners need to talk about: methods of resolving conflict; finances; religious beliefs; raising kids; sex expectations; relating to extended family; roles; work; etc. The point is to start talking! The more we discuss what we each need, the more realistic our expectations will be.

2. The more unrealistic & unexpressed expectations we have, the more difficulties we'll have in marriage.

3. Our level of disappointment in life is proportionate to our level of expectations.

4. Each person is responsible for making their needs & wants known. We can't hold our partner responsible for not meeting our needs if we don't express our needs.

5. 'Mind reading' is not proof of love in marriage. It's an unrealistic expectation tied to a 'rescue fantasy.' This is usually connected with unmet emotional needs from our family of origin.

6. Rather than trying to change my partner, I need to focus on becoming the best partner I can be.

7. Even some realistic expectations sometimes will need to be let go of & grieved.

8. God is with us as we deal with our hurt, disappointment, grieving & adjusting our expectations.

1 comment:

  1. Those are great points! Thank you for sharing them.