Friday, October 01, 2010

Fear and Faith-

In the house we are renting there is an electric heater on our shower.   I can see all of the wires and leads to it above the shower head. It is supposed to be an energy saving feature.  But quite honestly it frightens me.  For three weeks I chose not to use the shower.  I would heat water in the electric kettle, pour that water into the bathroom sink, wash off my body and shave from that water.  Me, the one who does not like camping has lived like a camper in our home.  

On Wednesday, I decided that I needed to face my fear.  

I had to tell myself that I didn’t believe that it was my destiny to die in that shower and that I could trust God enough to get in there.  Tom had been using it without getting fried and so could I.    All the while I showered I felt fearful.  Fear and faith coexisted for me in that space.  I remember during sales meetings my director would say that “fear and faith could not occupy the same space”.  I disagree.  Fear and faith can work together.  And when they co-mingle I believe it is called courage.  

For me personally courage is not about being fearless.  It is feeling the fear, calling out to God for help so that I can face it and moving on.

When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted.  Psalm 138:3

I am not sure how long it will take to feel comfortable using that shower.  Just knowing that I had the courage to do it once means that I can do it again.  And I know that I can face whatever new challenges come my way.   

One day at a time.

3 comments:

  1. I have never heard of something like that for a shower... got any pictures of it? I'd be scared too.

    And I totally agree- fear and faith are both in me pretty much constantly!

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  2. Yeah, I need to take a picture of it and post it... I had never seen one before either!

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  3. You are funny. Good job facing your fears. However it sounds like they are justified.

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