Wednesday, October 09, 2013

the power of friendship in marriage...

Good friendships are hard to find.
Good marriages seem even more rare these days.  

The word friendship makes me think of trust, mutual respect, and shared experiences.  A friend is someone you can be vulnerable with, someone who will tell you the truth and not just what you want to hear, and a friend is someone who will be there to support you when needed.  How many of us can say these things about our spouse?  I am so grateful that I can raise my hand and say, "yes" to that question.  

Tom and I found each other first as friends back in high school.  And second to our faith in God it has been our friendship that has carried us through some of the most difficult times in our relationship. Many times over the years though I was frustrated with Tom as husband; I still wanted to talk it over with Tom as my friend.  

Our 31 years of marital experience has led me to believe that a shared faith in God and a genuine friendship form the strongest foundation for marriage.  We've all seen couples who just don't even seem to like each other.  It is obvious by the way they speak to and/or about one another that they don't value each other as human beings.  Those types of couples are so difficult to be around.  But, a couple who truly values each other is a strong magnet that draws others towards them.  Those are the couples I want to learn from and spend time with.  

Becoming best friends in marriage is something that must be done intentionally. Wishing and hoping doesn't change the quality of a relationship but hard work does.  Perseverance, sacrifice, and prayer can all lay the ground work for a priceless friendship with your spouse.  I've heard about soul mates, twin flames, and such.  But to me, the most romantic, passionate, and endearing of all to be said about a married that they are best friends.  


  1. I totally agree.

  2. Love it. And it's absolutely true!! <3

  3. When I married, my mother said, "What I hope is that you can both be friends." I didn't understand that then. It sounded funny, but now 18 years later it's perfectly clear what she meant!

  4. I would like to share your article on my blog. May I have your permission to do so?

    1. yes, Donna, you may. Could you post it along with a link back to my blog? Thanks!

  5. yes absolutely and thank you !