3 things you can do to combat sex slavery

Watching the movie Nefarious: Merchant of Souls reduced me to a blubbering mess.  

It is not a feel good movie.  Not the kind where you sit with a bowl of popcorn, feet up on the couch, and kick back waiting to be entertained.  It is the kind that confronts you with the facts of modern day slavery.   Sex slavery to be specific.

This movie covers everything from initial recruitment to victim liberation.  I learned that trafficking is based on an exploitation of vulnerability.  I learned that in a place like Cambodia you can buy a beer for $4, a bunch of grapes for $5 and a girl for $3 and charge it all to your credit card.  I learned that even in a place where prostitution is legal there are still girls in brothels that have been sold into that lifestyle by their parents.

As we watched I was reminded that all around the world there are women and children being abused, neglected and exploited.   And they need our prayers.  They need advocates brave enough to intervene.  Education and money alone will not stop evil from advancing in this world.  

There is only one Power great enough to overcome evil...let us turn to Him!  

The goal of the Child Development Foundation, the organization we work with,  is to eradicate the commercial sexual exploitation of children here in Belize.  Each week we meet for prayer.  We pray over the different awareness programs we have scheduled, we pray for the counseling clients we see, we pray for the victims of abuse and exploitation, we pray for each other to have the strength and endurance to keep on working.  We pray for the funding we need to keep creating awareness throughout the country and the monies needed to build a safe house here in Belize.  This movie was hard for me to watch but it also showed me that CDF is on the right track in fighting this evil.     

And according to the movie there are some things each of us can do to help fight this battle:

Please join us in prayer for the victims,  pray about what you can do to promote awareness about this issue wherever you are, and pray about becoming a partner with us in this effort.

Tune In!

If you are looking for us on Saturday this is where we will be! 

Tom is one of the speakers for this one day event sponsored by CDF to train Youth Pastors and Youth Workers.   Please pray for those who will attend and for all of the people who are working to make this event a success.  And for all who take part in the seminar to come away feeling more equipped to handle emergency situations with their youth.

If you are here in Belize and work with youth come on out and join us!

Would you speak up? Tweets from #ididnotreport

Yesterday afternoon I noticed in my Twitter feed that a few people were talking about the tweets under the hashtag #ididnotreport and some anonymous tweets that were retweeted by @ididnotreport1.

As I read through the tweets it was obvious to me that they were coming from various places around the world.  It appears that the crimes of molestation, sexual abuse and rape are still under reported. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) sexual assault is one of the most under reported crimes.  Statistics show that 60% of assaults are not reported.  Males are least likely to report and they make up 10% of all victims.

I found this chart featured on their website:

It is 2012...and although I probably shouldn't be... I am shocked.

And my heart breaks for these victims.  Sexual violence in all of its forms has to stop.  Now!

Here is a sampling of  anonymous tweets posted by @ididnotreport1:

I didn't make corrections or censor any post.  

Tweets 
#ididnotreport because I was a child and had no idea what to say

@Ididnotreport1 to the anonymous who blames themselves for any future attacks for not reporting - only the attacker is to blame. Not you.

So many adults failed me as a child. Looking back there were so many clues that I was being molested. #ididnotreport

#ididnotreport our PE teacher comin gin to the changing rooms and expecting us to continue changing while he watched. Aged 15.

#ididnotreport the boy who hit me in the face at a school disco because I didn't want to kiss him.

@Ididnotreport1 ...not saying anything did not mean I was responsible for anything that happened after, it was ALL his fault, HIS hands xxx

 #ididnotreport when a worker in my childrens home offered me £25 to watch me in the bath, because I was already in trouble for other stuff

#ididnotreport when I woke up with him on top of me, I'd drank a lot that night & was afraid it was my fault & no one would help.

#ididnotreport that my friends boyfriend held me down and pushed my legs open and when she came in he said I tried it on. She believed him.

@Ididnotreport1 please know that was not your fault, same happened to me with childhood abuse, took a long time for me to realise that by...

 #ididnotreport that I had sex with a boy I fancied in the back of a car while his friends sat in front and I didnt really want to. age14

#ididnotreport that my mum's friend gave me £1 for sweets as he stroked my thigh,told me not tell mum. I never spent the money or told. Age7

...regret that #ididnotreport. I'm filled with guilt cuz my fear kept me from stopping him from raping someone else. Their blood, my hands

#ididnotreport because he was my boyfriend, my "best friends" didn't believe me, & I got preg from it. My son's a blessing but still regret

#ididnotreport my babysitter because I didn't understand, I thought I would get into trouble

I woke up in a strange place with him on top of me, I said stop, stop #ididnotreport b/c how do you report a crime you barely remember

#ididnotreport my kindergarden friend's older brother who made me perform oral sex & had intercourse w/ me.

#ididnotreport because I was a child, I didn't understand and by the time I did it was too late

#ididnotreport parents & relatives taking photos of us 5 - 7 year olds flashing our knickers - we thought it was funny at the time (80's)

Christ I wish I were surprised by anything from @Ididnotreport1 #ididnotreport

#ididnotreport it was happening in a public bus, I was in HS, n didn't realize it was a molestation. A nice man helped, offered me a seat...

#ididnotreport because it was technically not a rape. No penetration whatsoever, n I didn't understand that it was molestation at that time

#ididnotreport my friend's father & uncle who were also my bosses in a shop, when they regularly passed comment on my breast size. I was 16.

@Ididnotreport1 because I blamed myself.

#ididnotreport my best friend's brother who pulled me to the ground putting his hand down my pants in their house- he was 14 and I was 15

#ididnotreport. I DID report but felt guilty because it was never penetration, he never hurt me, and others had it much worse. I was 12-14.

#ididnotreport the stranger who chatted me up for a few minutes before leaning in and biting my face

#ididnotreport [italian villa cont.] He's a teacher. I was 20.

#ididnotreport the gang of men who asked me for directions on quiet Belfast street at night then made lewd comments

a scientist from NY(2009) - would not accept a no, sexual coercion, attempted rape, verbal/emotional abuse

because the people I told first didn't seem to understand that I didn't really agree to what he wanted me to do.

#ididnotreport. Didn't know it was wrong if I consented. Embarassd 2 say no & just wanted 2 be liked. I was 14. Angers & Grosses me out now.

#ididnotreport Family friend on Italian villa holiday who looked at me funny & stood outside my bedroom door heavy-breathing & masturbating.

#ididnotreport the uncle of my friend who slapped my ass before commenting on my "good birthing hips". 10+ people just laughed. I was 16.

because it was in a huge crowd. I didn't really believe that could happen or that anyone would believe he groped me

#ididnotreport the guy on a crowded train rubbing his member against me, cos I kinda liked it- does that mean I was asking4it (2go further?)

#ididnotreport because I couldn't remember enough of what had happened as I was passed out, other than I could not have given consent!

#ididnotreport because i'd slept with him before & i knew people would blame me as I had been out drinking

#ididnotreport because I was cold and stuck in the wrong part of London -he said I could stay at his til morning, but all he wanted.. *sigh*

I did not report because I did not speak the local language. And 'nice' girls aren't drunk on a Tuesday night...

because I wasn't allowed a boyfriend. Telling that he assaulted me would mean getting in trouble for him existing in the first place.

If you or someone you know is currently being violated  SPEAK UP... Make a report. 

Or if you suffer with emotional and spiritual wounds
of past sexual violence please talk with someone you trust.

Don't let another day go by without getting the help and support that you deserve.

Lolita's broken life...

 Excerpt from Lolita,
 by Vladimir Nabokov                         

"I'll die if you touch me," I said.  "You are sure you are not coming with me?  Is there no hope of your coming?  Tell me only this."

"No," she said.  "No, honey, no.

She had never called me honey before.

"No," she said, "it is quite out of the question.  I would sooner go back to Cue.  I mean-" She groped for words.  I supplied them mentally ("He broke my heart. You merely broke my life").

                                                                     

It took me years to face this book.  Other books by Nabokov are not so difficult to read.  I knew that it was about a middle aged man and his relationship with a 12 year old girl.  I didn't think I had the strength to make it through a book like this.  I read it while we still lived in Russia.  It was a difficult read.  It broke my heart.  It moved me to tears and it made me angry.

Vladimir Nabokov is quoted as saying:

Some people, and I am one of them, hate happy ends.  We feel cheated.  Harm is the norm.

I disagree.  Harm should never be the norm.  

But, sometimes it is. Each week there are children and teens whose lives, hearts and spirits have been broken. Some of them are brought to their knees by their life circumstances. Others were abused or mistreated by someone who was supposed to care for them.  These dear ones often struggle to conceive of a power great enough to mend their lives, heal their hearts, replenish their spirits and redeem all of the suffering they have faced.

I still believe though...that healing can begin with a whispered prayer calling forth the Light of Healing.

Join with us in prayer for those who are still victims.

Please remember the Lolitas of the world.  

a just cause...

There was a Family Focus Forum held at the University of Belize on Tuesday. Tom was asked to represent the Child Development Foundation and give a 10 minute presentation.  The issue being discussed is the removal of sodomy laws here in Belize.

Our involvement is related to how the repeal of this law would affect male children and teens. As this sodomy law is the only law Belize has right now to charge pedophiles with who prey on young men.  There has been much in the media lately about teen boys being violated  and this part of the issue needs to be heard when the case about repealing section 53 goes to court in December.

Tom is introduced in this video at minute 6:52.  Please keep this issue in your prayers!

What is in the news here in Belize?

Sadly, we continue to hear stories of abuse in our counseling office and more stories from the community are in the news.  While we cannot talk about what we hear in the office we can share with you the news from the community.  Please keep all of the children involved in your prayers.    Two Disturbing Sexual Assaults; One By A Step-Father, One By a Pastor

Mon, October 24, 2011

There are two disturbing stories of sexual assault to report tonight.  A 42 year old man who allegedly committed a sexual assault on his 11 year old step-daughter, was denied bail after he appeared today in the Magistrate's Court and was charged with aggravated assault of an indecent nature. The man pleaded not guilty but the prosecution objected to bail on the grounds that the defendant is on parole for a conviction of indecent assault on a previous step-daughter. When asked to give a good reason why he should be granted bail, the man said he met his common-law-wife about 2 years ago and she did not tell him she has 3 children.  He said the 11 year old does not like when he disciplines her and she comes home late at night and sometimes she comes home with money.  But because he is on parole for a similar offence, Chief Magistrate Ana Marie Smith remanded him into custody until November 24. The incident occurred on September 29. The child reported to the police that her step-father fondled her private parts.  And a student of Belmopan in the presence of his mother reported that sometime in the month of June of this year, while at his pastor's house - namely Jason Neal- in Roaring Creek, he was sleeping on his sofa when he was awakened by Neal who was touching his private parts.He also reported that in the month of July of this year, Neal had touched him inappropriately.  As a result Police arrested 37 year old Pastor Jason Neal of Roaring Creek Village and charged him with 2 counts of Aggravated Assault. ___________________________________________________________________ We have not heard any updates about the step-father but regarding the pastor we have heard that he was fined $3000 for each count and that he has until December 16th to pay this fine or he will have to serve jail time. CDF has done sensitization training to make the problem of sexual abuse and exploitation known in all of the high schools here in the area and also some of the elementary schools.  For the little ones there is a Yell and Tell campaign and for the teens there is the "My Body, My Future" project. Valley of Peace We at CDF have spoken at churches, and to women in  villages and to youth.   Since September when a four year old was raped there have been more people who are willing to tell their stories and more cases are coming to light.  This does not mean there is more abuse going on than in the past...just that people now have the courage to talk about it. Orange Walk Town Pray for us as we seek to understand the existing laws and help make changes in these laws regarding how these cases are handled and the penalties involved.  Pray for the funds to continue doing outreach to various communities on this issue.  Pray for continued bravery for children, youth and adults to speak out when they or someone they know is being abused. supporting one another in prayer in Esperanza *clicking on the highlighted words will either take you to a news story, website or a blog post that will give more information on that subject.

What is in the news in Belize?

We were!!

Our time in Orange Walk Town this weekend was incredible!  I cannot find the video but here is a link to the transcript of two of three interviews>> CDF Holds National Youth Rally

The news cameras showed up near the end of the rally while Pastor Antoinette, a local pastor, was leading the youth in a purity pledge.  They even filmed Tom, Patrice and I handing out New Testaments. As people were clearing out they interviewed Jadine, a CDF board member, along with Patrick and Esmerelda, members of the drama team from Mt Hope. We had 130 youth show up and some parents too.

The program began with prayer and then the Belizean national anthem followed by several performances from the youth group that went up with us from Mt Hope Church in Unitedville. We had worship and then I gave my testimony, followed by Patrice, a volunteer, giving a talk on who CDF is and what we do.  After lunch we split the large group into three small groups.  Jadine took the kids under 12 and she taught them about personal safety.  Patrice, took the parents and taught them how to talk with their kids to protect them from abuse or exploitation.  And Tom and I, had the largest group, ages 12-18+, and we took turns teaching about the emotional, psychological and spiritual effects of sexual exploitation and sexual abuse.  It was an awesome day!

Getting ready to start

Youth from Mt. Hope performing a rap song

Drama team from Mt. Hope

Late comers in the bleachers

Worship

Father-Daughter

Mother-son

Belizean flag

Break time

Signing in

Everyone was given lunch 

Pastor Antoinette

New Testaments to be handed out

Patrick being interviewed

We had to cancel the Saturday event because of Tropical Storm Harvey coming through.  The plan is to reschedule so that we can go back and do a presentation to the community and the surrounding churches.  Parents were very receptive to our message and the teens were engaged all throughout the day.  We hope that word of mouth along with the story making the news will draw out even more people when we go back.

Thanks for all of your prayers!

Girl Talk

I was down in the village of Esperanza with CDF today speaking with about 40 girls from age 8 to 16 about the Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children and sexual abuse.  We covered the definitions of sexual exploitation and sexual abuse and then addressed the medical, social, emotional aspects of the issue and broke into small groups for a time of discussion.  The girls were put into 2 large groups from ages 8-12 and 13 & up to cover the medical and emotional issues.  It was a long day, but a productive one.  We have no idea what the girls took away from it all.  The most important message that was stressed over and over again was that if something had already happened to them it was not their fault.

I was not scheduled to be a speaker today...I was just supposed to be a small group leader.  But I got asked to share my personal story of abuse so I did.  I had to tailor it so that the little ones could understand and that was a first for me.  One young lady shared with me in the small group time about a friend of hers that had been exploited.  I was grateful that my story led to her opening up to me.  And it was evident on the faces of others that they had stories to share but were not quite ready.

Tomorrow we will be presenting to Sunday School teachers and Children's workers here in Belmopan and giving the same talks.  Tom will join us and speak about the importance of counseling.  We aren't sure how many there will be at tomorrow's session.  But the plan is for 40 again.  And we expect it to be mostly women.

We have heard that there will be a small group of ladies coming from the Mennonite community and we are very excited about getting the chance to work with them.  It would be great if doors were opened through them that would lead to us being able to do a seminar specifically for the people in Spanish Lookout.  Please keep CDF and this work in your thoughts and prayers! 

CDF in Benque

This weekend we were down in Benque to do a presentation for the Child Development Foundation.  The conference began on Friday night and ended Saturday afternoon.  Tom and I both spoke on Saturday along with several other speakers.

I made the mistake of forgetting my camera on Saturday so I don't have many shots from the day.  There are a few that I took Friday night.

Church of the Nazarene

Called to Holiness

Evangelical Temple

Church of the Nazarene

Jadine translating  into Spanish as Diana speaks on Gomer and Hosea 

Break the Silence Poster

We had 20 people the first night and 25 the next day.  I have a lot of admiration for the people who attended the weekend.  This is not an easy subject and not one that most people would want to give up so much of their free time for.  It felt like a good weekend for us.  And for CDF.

I hope you had a good weekend...  I would love to hear about it!

Sell Tacos! Not Children!

The Child Development Foundation (CDF) is sponsoring a talent contest here in Belize.  And the motto for the contest is Sell Tacos!  Not Children!  It will be interesting to see what the kids come up with.  The contest is open to youth 13-18.  If you are here in Belize you can call 822-0101 for more information or send an email to cdfbelize@ymail.com.

This weekend Tom and I will be going to down to the village of Benque to speak at a CDF conference to help bring awareness to pastors and community leaders.  We are only two of the speakers on the schedule and since we are going to a Spanish speaking community we will have translators working with us.

I will be speaking on the Spiritual Affects on Survivors of Commercial Sexual Exploitation and Abuse.  And Tom is speaking on How Effective Christian Counseling Helps.  We are excited about this opportunity and hope to have a good turn out in the area.